Where did we go?

Over to tumblr!

Check it out, bookmark it and visit regularly. I’ll switch the domain shortly, as well.

As I’m sure you guys have seeen, it’s been very dead on Garbage Day. For good reason though- I’m not exactly in the same place that fueled a lot of this stuff (sorry). On top of that’s it takes a lot of time to come up with five reasons why your parent’s secretly hate you and for a cohesive article that’s actually funny(?).

So in the spirit of keeping with the chuckles, I’ve decided to dumb it down, steal other people’s stuff and write one or two snarky sentences about it. It’s a bold new day for EDIGD, and also a much lazier one.

And now for all the folks who encouraged me, inspired me and given me a chance, I leave you with this:

Finally, an answer to the age old question”

“why in god’s name would i need four iPhones?”

Just…wow. I’m gonna go soak my ears in bleach.

Fuck it….

I got nothing, folks. In the meantime, here’s technoviking.

Been gone for so long….

I’m still alive folks (and well rested, thanks for asking). Keep an eye out for a fresh batch of  misgivings soon!

Every Day Is Garbage Day’s Birthday!

A year ago today I started everydayisgarbageday.com. What a long strange trip it’s been. Thank you to each and every one of you who read, watched, listened, tweeted, facebooked, dugg, and stumbleuponed my meager offerings to the comedy world. It means to world to me.

Also, big ups to the folks that helped along the way: Mogan (obviously), Nick at fivedeep.com, Monika for a great article, Bubb for SART, James and everyone who held their Wizard Staff’s high. I hope I make you guys laugh as much as you’ve made me.

There’s been a moticable lack of updates…not for lack of trying, though. In between moving and being too lazy to get my internet up, work and life in general, there hasn’t been much time for writing. I’ll try and get back into the habit. It was just so much easier when I was unmployed and depressed all the damn time.Eh, you never know what the future holds….

Thanks, everyone. Happy Birthday, blog.

Happy Halloween!

Because nobody at all asked for it….

 

I Just Had To Stop

….before I even wrote this article. I’ve never been one to shy away from a cheap laugh, but this one stumped me.

Like, I’m sure it would be funny. Other bloggers have gone down this road and fared pretty well.

I’m talking about the holy grail of comedy, Juggalos. Young men and women who are devout followers of the Insane Clown Posse.

The Day I Didn’t Write About Juggalos!

just...no

To Have And To Hold, Bitches

Well, fuck. The party’s over. After 27 or so years of drinking, jackassery and whoring around ,all my comrades who once applauded my efforts are gone. What was once the boomtown of  early 20′s hedonism is now a ghost town of tumbleweeds; the Pussyhound Saloon closed long ago and Doc Sirosis’ General Store packed up and left town.

What I’m trying to say is that all my buddies are getting married and I swear to god it is the most depressing thing ever. But as we all know, one must always maintain a proper appearance at such occasions. So here you have it:

Everything You Need To Know About Weddings!

We Do It For The Love Of The Music (But Mostly The Hookers And Blow)

For those of you who know me, you know I have four main passions in life: writing, drinking, maintaining  an encyclopedic knowledge of deviant sexual acts and music.

I generally get to share my love of the first three at great length here on Garbage day, but music is a love of mine that goes sorely underappreciated here. Tonight I decided to remedy that!

Are you ready to rock be underwhelmed!?!

Dear God No

I remember watching Disney’s Robin Hood when I was a kid and thinking how great it would be to have anthropomorhic friends I could run around and have adventures with.

At 27 years, my wish came true. Now I’m living in a nightmare I can’t wake up from.