Take This Cover Letter And Shove It. Totally Tastes Better That Way.

I know it’s tough out there, folks. This recession continues to kick us in the proverbial balls at every given opportunity, while hardworking folks have taken to getting 25 bucks to get kicked in the balls in some divey motel at every given opportunity, and that’s just to make sure the cable bill gets paid.

whatever, money is money and i'll be damned if i miss the season premire of :House"

Now you can start looking back at everything that went wrong in your increasingly miserable life, or you can take it from a winner like me: you have the skills and abilities to succeed, Your resume says that and more!

But your cover letter is shit. Let’s take a look at how the pros get their foot in the door. Here’s two examples of how I’ve made it in this world and you haven’t.

Cover Letters: The Deadbolt You Need To Smash To Walk Into the Apartment Of Success!

fuck you!

Every Day Is…Wait, What?

After spending a good deal of the day hunched over a toilet praying for death as a suitable punishment for the prior night’s alcohol-fueled misgivings, it occurred to me that today was Earth Day.

Seriously? Really? Fuck that noise.

The End Of The World And What You Can Do To Help!

Spring, Known For The Mesopotamian Holiday Akitu. Also: Titties!

It’s 42 degrees here at Garbage Day’s Chicago headquarters. You know what that means: bust out the beach blankets, get the lawn darts sharpened and add a Zyrtec to your fistful of antidepressants, anti-psychotics, muscle relaxants and methadone you’re downing with your morning Bloody Mary! It’s time for….

Garbage Day’s Guide To Spring Fever!

this is gonna be a feel good article

You Give Love A Bad Name

Ah, Valentine’s. Naysayers be damned, there is a certain feeling in the air that makes for romance that shakes the heavens. Relationships will blossom and with a little luck and a lot of hard work, might blossom into marriage. Pretty awesome, right?

Talk to us in June.

Your Relationship Is Going To Fail!

When One Door Closes, Another One Is Deadbolted

You’ve put your time in at the office. That extra project you took on, the late hours, working on new year’s eve and even pushing that messy divorce aside to get that PowerPoint presentation looking perfect….

Congratulations! You’re Fucking Fired!

The Sound Of Mucus

Our dear friend Monika Ebly was kind enough to take a moment from having musician-ineptitude induced seizures to write this piece for us. Enjoy!-K

You’ve seen a million faces and you’ve rocked them all.

What do you mean “Of course I have”?

Pull up a chair and let me rock you, Amadeus. It’s time for:

Garbage Day’s 5 Surefire Tips For Failing Miserably In The Music Industry!

excellent!